Why Comparison Takes More Than It Gives
“When you find yourself comparing yourself to or envying others, you are trying to find worth, value, and meaning from someone or something outside of the King and his kingdom.”
The other day, I had the privilege of meeting with other local youth pastors to think through an event for next year. As we talked, I found myself taking mental notes of certain things the other men were saying – how many kids are signed up for summer camp, where they did their events last year, how many teens show up to their Wednesday services. Now, there is a lot that can be said about the dangers of making ministry all about numbers and events, but that isn’t the pitfall that my heart was in danger of during that meeting. No, my heart was walking on a far more dangerous and subtle path – the path of comparison and jealousy.
This is a snare that isn’t just a danger to pastors – it waits for you when the quarterly sales numbers are released and you aren’t at the top of the list. It waits for you when you get on social media to glimpse into the lives of other people who you wish you looked like, acted like, or lived like. It waits for you when the starting lineup is announced and you are on the bench. It waits for you when you see another couple’s well-behaved children. It waits for all of us.
I was struck by something in our church reading plan this week. In Mark 6, we read that in Jesus’ hometown of Nazareth, he was not able to do a miracle there, only a few healings. A few verses later, we read that after Jesus sent out his disciples, “They drove out many demons, anointed many sick people with oil and healed them” (v.13). This is the point where our insecurities would begin to surface – we would probably begin to worry that we were going to be overshadowed – but not Jesus. When his disciples return to report back to them, another opportunity for ministry soon presents itself, as thousands of hungry people have followed Jesus into a remote area. What happens next is easy to miss, but before Jesus multiplies the loaves and fishes, he actually gives his disciples the chance to take part in what God was about to do through him: “You give them something to eat” (v.37).
Jesus felt no need to validate himself to others through miracles and teachings, he did these out of compassion and a desire to bring glory to God and point others to the kingdom. Jesus avoided the snare of comparison and envy because he allowed his Father – not other people – to have the first and final word on who he was, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well-pleased” (Mark 1:11). When you find yourself comparing yourself to or envying others, you are trying to find worth, value, and meaning from someone or something outside of the King and his kingdom.
However, to the degree that we see ourselves as citizens of and heirs to the kingdom of God, we have less and less need to find value elsewhere, for all we need is found in the presence of the One who lets us lie down in green pastures and leads us beside quiet waters. When we live in this reality, we can move from comparing ourselves with others to celebrating the way that God is working through others to advance the kingdom that we are all a part of.